I've been thinking about you a lot and it feels good. On a bad day, craving reassurance makes me wonder what to make of this and in a good day I can see us flowing into and towards destiny with ease. Good days are prevailing though, propelled by a wave of love and passion, lots of passion because I can't stop missing you and it feels amazing when we are together as one. Perhaps that is what being in love is. Maintaining that delusional state that trusts all will flow into place. Because it feels good and it fills my heart with joy that overflows outwards. And maintaining that delusional state is all we can hope for. Because it means that no matter what, one person in the world gets you and has your back. Regardless of your flaws, one person believes in you and will not drop you when things get tough. I've been dropped before and it broke my heart, but it didn't break my spirit and while mending myself I realized the person that has my back has to be me. Because you can't force someone else's heart and free will, and wondering is self-inflicting pain. You can only wish for the best because as much as I might wish for someone to fill my heart with joy truth is no one else but me can finish that task. The reason why my heart broke in the past was because it was not whole to begin with, that missing part made a weak heart that yearned for a filler. I'm afraid to admit I find myself sometimes yearning again, perhaps driven by old time insecurities that are hungry for reassurance. But do not fear, this time I won't fall back into the rabbit's whole anymore. It's impossible because I'm not the same person. I don't let Cupid on the lose these days. I now understand is not his duty, but generous as he is he has given me his tools to complete my quest. With a whole heart I plan to attend love's battle-field and seek for true love once more. That is an adventure worth risking it all for.
*Psyche and Cupid-Louvre Museum
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