Today's dating world is far different from the one I left behind when I married my now ex-husband Sean. When destiny managed to dissolve our marriage I was almost forty, with a daughter and back in the dating game. It's hard when your life is shaken upside down and all you are left with is a manual on dating circa 1980s and 90s, when land lines and answering machines were the norm. And so my divorce opened up a world I had not visited in quite some time; Miami night life.
I remember one night my dear friend Sandra asked me to join her out; she said she felt like dressing up. I went to her apartment to get ready with her and we chatted nonstop like we always did. It was particularly fun to dress up with her since she is the spiritual kind and a club is the last place you would find her at. We walked to a nearby venue to celebrate the birthday of a very well-known casting director. The place was packed, swarmed by twenty somethings. My friend and I were in our mid-thirties and even though we did not look it I felt the weight of it. I mostly felt it by my desire to be anywhere else but there. A guy started talking to my friend. He looked so young; I giggled knowing I would tease her for it later on. That night mingling brought about brief meaningless encounters and Jeffrey could have been one of them, tall, cute and really young. What on earth could this kid want to talk with me about? I though. I was getting ready to kindly dismiss him with a smile except his words were kind of interesting. "Which one would you pick?" He said. "Which one of what?” I replied. “Sorry." I said with a dopey smile, "Can you repeat it?" He quickly replied. "Einstein said, There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Which one are you?" "Oh, that's easy" I said with pride. "Everything is a miracle." I felt like I had just won a game show and he was about to hand me the keys of my brand new car. "And you?" I enquired. "I’m still figuring it out" he replied. And just like that I was talking to a kid in a club, strangely having a great time. "What's your name?" he said. "Esther." I said "but you can call me Esty." "What? No, that name doesn't suit you." He said. "Well, truth is I never liked it, it's my mom's name and she doesn’t even like it herself. I said while continuing, “I love my middle name though, Isabella. I always thought it would be nice for people to call me Isa. I wished I could change my name, but… " He interrupted. "Yes, I like that; I'm calling you Isa from now on." I smiled and that night I found myself giving this kid my number after he asked. He did not called though, he texted. Last time I dated there were no cellphones, let alone texting. I quickly replied to him writing that I was at least ten years older than him but it had been nice to meet him. He was surprised about my age but he did not care. Another difference on today's dating, newsflash; cougars are in now. “Oh, I said, ok let's go out then.”
Our dating was brief, like a blink of an eye. I never got used to the cougar thing; the few times we went out I really hoped no one I knew would see us afraid of being judged. Truth is nobody cared or even looked. But I have to admit the real reason was dating helped me not feel the divorce I was going through back then. I was terrified to deal with the real pain within. Jeff was meaningful though because although he was young he is an old soul. A unique kind of person you can spot a mile away, in this case in a dark smoky room, and notice they are special without even knowing them. Even though we never kept in touch I know he is really happy with his soul mate and that warms my heart. I do have to thank him for that night inside a very typical Miami Beach club a not very typical new me was born.
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